Dignity

"She is clothed with strength and dignity,
and she laughs without fear of the future."

Dignity. A word that strikes up everything that I thought I was for so long. I had put up walls, grown into who I thought people wanted me to be, and had sadly began to fake a sense of security that I soon found out could only be found in a Lord that will be my strength when I am weak, love me when I fail, and know me from the inside out. This year has been a year of growth and vulerablility as I slowly began to learn about the person I am. The real me... not the girl that faked a smile and fake perfection to gain attention and affirmation. Reflecting back, I see how quickly and how often my security has been stripped away, piece by piece, little by little. An image of a beat-up white picket fence describes me. My appearance is chipped, my security is weak, and stand guarding something that had been thrown around so many times before. My dignity is mostly placed in relationships- friends, family, but mainly guys. I have several times let my fence down, ignoring the chipped appearance, weak security and have stopped guarding an organ so precious that it began to show my brokenness. My heart has not been guarded, resulting in a loss of dignity that had been searching for so much more. The keeper of my heart, the keeper of my dignity, and the keeper of my integrity is in Jesus Christ. A savior who loves me, cherishes me, and protects me despite my brokenness.


My integrity is broken,
piece by piece I fall apart.
My dignity is gone,
from the disappointment of my flesh.
My heart is damaged,
letting it go one too many times.
My flesh is stronger,
as I draw from these feelings that control me.
I am not overcome by weakness,
but my suffering makes me weak.
I desire the depth of security that will not run dry.
Just as my body is frail, my spirit can be renewed.
Renewed in strength, in integrity, and in dignity.