Comfort.

I was asked this weekend if I was able to see God as my comfort. Quickly, I replied yes, reflecting on the difficult year that I just ended. God was my comfort in my depression, in my insecurity, in my anxiety and in my rejection. Most importantly, the hope of Jesus and His love for me became my comfort to overcome these daily struggles.

"Don't tell God how big your storm is, tell the storm how big your God is"

In the midst of our trials and situations, we must rely on the hope of Jesus as our comfort. Without Him we do feel alone and hopeless. There were days I didn't think that there was hope, but Jesus was always there, reminding me that He was holding my heart in His hands at all times. How comforting is that?!

"I pray that God, the source of hope, will fill you completely with joy and peace because you trust in him. Then you will overflow with confident hope through the power of the Holy Spirit."
 Romans 15:13

Life Can Knock Us Down.

Do you ever feel so burned out, that you can't even imagine what to do next? Life is crazy, but we must realize that God accepts us for who we are NOT what we have done. If we feel like a failure, have been rejected, or we feel inadequate, we must turn to the One who's love is not circumstantial, but rather steadfast and never ending.

Sometimes, I feel rejected and not good enough. I feel not good enough to love, not good enough to lead, not good enough to follow, and not good enough to make an impact. Having hope surpasses all perceptions of rejection; He wants us to be made clean.

I am lost and alone,
feeling unworthy.
The world that once welcomed me,
has broken me down.
Worry passes over me,
Am I as unworthy as the lies that scream at me?
Why am I not enough? Can I ever surpass this
inadequacy that I feel?
My heart weeps in sorrow.
The world I once belonged to broke me apart.
My walls and ground are torn.
Torn and shattered, my heart sees a light.
I am broken through by hope.
Made whole again by the blood of Christ.
Mending a heart so broken, so bruised
by this cruel world.
I have given away my pain,
awaiting the arrival of a clean spirit.
My God is my rock, and I am His beloved.

Brokenness.

Is it hard for you to believe that everyone is broken, in some way or another? I know this was hard for me. I used to think that faking being okay was the way to hide my brokenness, and that it would fade away if I ignored it. This past year, I have began to embrace brokenness in such a way that my brokenness is what makes me a precious and prized gift in the eyes of my Savior. A book, called So Long Insecurity, by Beth Moore, was recommended to me. I have never been so touched and moved by a book in my life. Page by page, sentence by sentence, truth and realization is brought into my life and I see a glimpse of hope; a glimpse that I am not alone in my constant chronic insecurity.

"...I don't just doubt myself, but I also doubt God about myself..." (18)
"...Let God get to that terrified part of you that devours the rest..."(26)

Only through cleansing and healing of Christ are we able to overcome this brokenness. A brokenness that we try to hide from One who knows us better than we could ever understand ourselves, despite our constant and never ending battles. "We must remember that God designed emotions... He knows that our hearts are broken..."

I challenge you to see brokenness as a window of opportunity to humble yourself at the foot of the cross and deeply connect with Christ in a way that you are no longer bound to your brokenness, but rather are healed and redeemed like never before.

True Beauty.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZaPxAlS37jA.

Is our beauty from ourselves, from others, from selfish desires? Or is it from Christ?
God loves us. He cherishes us. He chose us. He created us. As I think about what it means to have "true beauty" my mind suddenly races to the photos of girls with perfectly highlighted hair, white teeth, and come off as if they have it all together. True beauty is not from the outside; it is from a heart of Christ.

"True beauty...is found in a soul completly surrendered to Jesus Christ, a heart consumed by Him alone, and a life eagerly poured out for His sake..." (The Lost Art of True Beauty, Leslie Ludy)

Each day, repeat this over and over:
I am beautiful.
I am cherished.
I am made new.
I am complete.
I am worthy.
I am loved.
I am beautiful because of Jesus Christ.

Dignity

"She is clothed with strength and dignity,
and she laughs without fear of the future."

Dignity. A word that strikes up everything that I thought I was for so long. I had put up walls, grown into who I thought people wanted me to be, and had sadly began to fake a sense of security that I soon found out could only be found in a Lord that will be my strength when I am weak, love me when I fail, and know me from the inside out. This year has been a year of growth and vulerablility as I slowly began to learn about the person I am. The real me... not the girl that faked a smile and fake perfection to gain attention and affirmation. Reflecting back, I see how quickly and how often my security has been stripped away, piece by piece, little by little. An image of a beat-up white picket fence describes me. My appearance is chipped, my security is weak, and stand guarding something that had been thrown around so many times before. My dignity is mostly placed in relationships- friends, family, but mainly guys. I have several times let my fence down, ignoring the chipped appearance, weak security and have stopped guarding an organ so precious that it began to show my brokenness. My heart has not been guarded, resulting in a loss of dignity that had been searching for so much more. The keeper of my heart, the keeper of my dignity, and the keeper of my integrity is in Jesus Christ. A savior who loves me, cherishes me, and protects me despite my brokenness.


My integrity is broken,
piece by piece I fall apart.
My dignity is gone,
from the disappointment of my flesh.
My heart is damaged,
letting it go one too many times.
My flesh is stronger,
as I draw from these feelings that control me.
I am not overcome by weakness,
but my suffering makes me weak.
I desire the depth of security that will not run dry.
Just as my body is frail, my spirit can be renewed.
Renewed in strength, in integrity, and in dignity.